In the Web

• Welcome to another edition of “In the Web.” I hope I entertain you with my rapid take on the week that was in the world of sports.

• CBS ratings soared Sunday night when broadcast icon Mike Wallace had his much-anticipated interview with the embattled Roger Clemens air on "60 Minutes." Wallace's well-conducted interview provided the viewing public with three undeniable truths. For one, "the Rocket" is more delusional than former Harvard professor and acid-head Timothy Leary and the fat-Texan was never even linked to LSD in the Mitchell report. Secondly, Wallace, who turns 90 in June, is a far greater legend in his field than the artificial Clemens, 45, ever was on the diamond. Finally, if Clemens does eventually get elected into baseball's Hall of Fame, Barry Lamar Bonds, 43, had better be enshrined as well. If Clemens does ultimately make Cooperstown and Bonds doesn't, then America as a whole is as racist as many proclaim.

• The following quote is from Roger Clemens’ lawyer, Rusty Hardin, after excerpts of his clients “60 Minutes” interview were released Thursday.

“Roger took bunches of shots over his career, much the way racehorses do, unfortunately.”

I won’t mention horses in this blog until we near the Kentucky Derby in the first week of May. Nevertheless, in light of Clemens’ horrifying abrasiveness and the way he sleazily recorded a phone conversation he had with his former trainer, Brian McNamee, I do wish that he was beaten like a government mule.

• The Washington Redskins iconic Head Coach and President, Joe Gibbs, 67, resigned yesterday after sixteen years leading the team from our nation's capital. Gibbs, who captured three Super Bowl championships as a coach with three different quarterbacks, is one of the classiest and most gracious individuals to ever roam an NFL sideline. In essence, as a man, he is everything that the cheating philanderer from New England, Bill Belichick is not.

• New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 30, deservingly seized his first league MVP TUESDAY in a landslide vote reminiscent of Reagan-Mondale circa 1984. Brady, who threw 50 touchdowns in comparison to a measly 8 interceptions this year, is the greatest quarterback to ever step on the gridiron. That fact regarding Brady’s all-time status got muddled amidst the numerous other story's surrounding the Patriots (16-0*) season for the ages.

• Every time I watch the Indiana Hoosiers (13-1, 2-0) and their sensational freshman shooting guard Eric Gordon play, I become more and more positive that nobody will want to play them in March.

• Anybody who discounts the success that the Boston Celtics (29-3) have enjoyed thus far because of the lack of quality competition that they've faced knows nothing about the sport of basketball. The Celts are an extremely talented squad and their detractors may be in denial all the way to a 17th championship parade.

• I genuinely would like to root for the Celtics and their duo of class acts, Kevin Garnett, 31, and Ray Allen, 32. However, in lieu of the Red Sox triumph and the Patriots dominance, I can't muster the emotion to root for the fabled franchise from Boston. I mean, it's like rooting for Tommy Lee to add more inches of girth to his nether region.

• If it wasn't for last week's captivating World Hockey Classic played outdoors in the snow between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Buffalo Sabers, I wouldn't even know that the sport of hockey still existed. It's kind of akin to how I wouldn't know Kim Kardashian, 27, was in existence if she didn't film herself getting a "golden shower" and doing the horizontal poker with Brandy's brother, Ray J.

• As always, thanks for giving me some of your time. I would have no reason to write if I didn’t have someone to read my work. Thanks again!