In the Web

· I send “thanks” to you all for taking the time to read my rapid take on the week that was in sports.



· Former San Francisco Giants icon and baseball’s home run king Barry Lamar Bonds, 43, was indicted Thursday by a federal grand jury on 4 counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for denying utilizing performance enhancing drugs. The indictment places another enormous asterisk next to Bonds tarnished records and it further darkens baseball’s “Steroid Era” (1994-present).

Since debuting with the Pittsburgh Pirates as a stick with jheri curls in 1986, Bonds has transformed his body into a mountain of mass and muscle. San Francisco Chronicle reporters and authors of “Game of Shadows,” Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada, documented the massive growth in Bonds' jersey size (42 to 52), cleat size (10 1/2 to 13) and cap size (7 1/8 to 7 1/4) — even though he now shaves his head and no longer looks like a walking “Soul Glo” infomercial. Bonds can continue to deny these lurid allegations until he is blue in the face. He cheated and then he lied to investigators about his cheating.

Nevertheless, he was the best player in baseball long before he began using ‘roids after the 1998 season and he may have been the greatest performer ever while he was juiced-up. It is imperative to realize that the entire sport of baseball was infested with steroids during this timeframe and it is simply unfair to demonize only the most famous and successful scofflaw of them all. It would be prudent and mature for fans to delay their reaction to Bonds and his indictment until after Senator George Mitchell releases the findings of his steroid investigation sometime in the coming weeks. Once that happens, judging Bonds against his peers will be fair and on a more level playing field (pun intended).



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· This was a devastating week for any legitimate and knowledgeable fan of the New York Yankees. After seemingly emancipating themselves from the cancer known as Alex Rodriguez, 32, the Bomber’s brass has had a moronic change of heart and the two sides are finalizing a contract agreement worth a reported $275 million over 10-years. In essence, this deal ensures that there won’t be a Yankee championship parade in Gotham until at least 2017.



· I have supported the New York Yankees since I was a child and I never believed that I would waiver my allegiance to the men in pinstripes. But, in lieu of this disgraceful pact with A-Gump, I need to reevaluate my standing. Am I capable of cheering for this parasite until I am 37 years of age? I sincerely don’t know the answer to that question. I have always beloved the Giants and it may be time for all of my passion to reside in the Bay Area. I can’t with any justification support this sexual instrument. But, on the other end of the spectrum, should I allow this championship-zero to alter my thinking and way of life? I am just in a very confused state and I am seeking answers.



· Los Angeles Lakers Coach Phil Jackson was reprimanded by the N.B.A. after making a homosexual reference in jest following his teams 107-92 loss to the San Antonio Spurs on Tuesday night. In the aftermath of San Antonio’s 13 3-pointers, Jackson was asked if too much penetration was leading to open outside shooters.



“We call this a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ game, because there is so much penetration and kickouts,” said Jackson, the king of arrogance. “It was just one of those games.”



In my column last week, I made a similarly snark remark and I genuinely want to recant my words and separate myself from the former third man off the New York Knicks bench. Last week, I wrote:



The phony known as Roger Clemens accepted a job as a consultant this week with the Houston Astros. In lieu of this news, one can only presume that Yankees pitcher Andy Pettite, 35, will follow-suit and retire. I mean, those two are inseparable like Laurel and Hardy, right? Or, was it inseparable like "Ennis del Mar" and "Jack Twist" in "Brokeback Mountain? Either way, with Clemens gone, Pettite's days in the South Bronx are inevitably finished.



If I offended anyone, I apologize and I assure you that I will veer away from such attempted humor in the future.



· Stephon (“Starbury”—Ha!) Marbury, 30, went AWOL this week after being informed by his incompetent boss, New York Knicks Head Coach Isiah Thomas, that he was going to be replaced in the starting lineup by backup point guard Mardy Collins, 23. Speaking to reporters regarding his demotion, Marbury said, “Isiah has to start me. I’ve got so much stuff on Isiah and he knows it.” These two worthless bums, “Starbury” and “Zeke,” deserve each other. In large part because of these two malcontents, Gotham shouldn't expect a basketball championship parade anytime soon either.



· After watching the revived Boston Celtics (8-0) throttle the Lawrence Frank-led New Jersey Nets (4-5) last week, I mentally devised a potentially fascinating “Mexican Street Fight.” Who emerges victorious in a battle pitting Frank, 37, versus Knicks legend Jeff Van Gundy, 45? Physically, it would be fair combat. But, Van Gundy’s scrappy and fearless style would be the gateway to glory. Case closed.



· I am participating in a fantasy football league this season for the first time in my life. To be honest, I like it and it absolutely adds intrigue to every Sunday’s action on the gridiron. But, the league does have drawbacks. I currently have Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens, 33, on my roster. Owens has been, like usual, remarkably productive this year and he’s a cornerstone on my squad. But, I am rooting for T.O. and that’s the drawback of drawbacks.



· If the New England Patriot’s (9-0) do make it to Arizona to compete in Superbowl XLII, it will be 44.5 states (southern Connecticut) versus 5.5 states (northern Connecticut and the 5 other New England States). How can more than 88% of our country be wrong? The Patriot’s are a villainous and nefarious crew.



· I may be blinded by optimism, but I still believe that Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weiss and New York Jets Coach Eric Mangini are the right people for their respective tasks at hand.



· Great thanks to you all for taking the time to review my weekly rant. I wish you all a safe and memorable Thanksgiving holiday!