In the Web

• After a brief hiatus, I welcome you back to another edition of "In the Web."

• Former Senate majority leader George Mitchell released the findings of his investigation into the usage of steroids in baseball last Thursday afternoon at a press conference in New York City. In all, Mitchell fingered 86 former and current players as scofflaws (including 7 former MVP's, 3 Cy Young Award winners and 24 New York Yankees of the past and present). Considering his limited power, Mitchell, a Director of the Boston Red Sox, did an average job stigmatizing some big names. But, it wasn't nearly the blood bath that it would have been, and could have been, had Mitchell been granted with greater investigative powers into the notorious "Steroid Era."

An extremely well-respected baseball analyst who I had the privilege of conversing with on a daily basis a couple of years ago once told me that he believed 65% to 75% of players were guilty of utilizing performance enhancing drugs in this rogue timeframe (1994-Present). I believe the estimation of my source and I think that it's a shame that so few go down when so many shot-up.

• A friend and co-worker of mine, Rick Iorio, wondered aloud if perhaps the Executive Vice President of the New York Yankees, Hal Steinbrenner, should be appointed to conduct a follow-up to the Mitchell Report. I have a sneaking hunch that Nomar Garciaparra, Gabe Kaplar, Mike Lowell and many others from Yawkey Way would be in opposition of such an a appointment.

• Below is an excerpt from an article I wrote on October the 14th.

"If 'Tricky Dick' Nixon was a crook and New England Patriot's Head Coach Bill Belichick is a cheat, then Roger Clemens is a thief who is guilty of stealing millions of dollars from Steinbrenner for 4 uninspiring months of mediocrity. Although the most powerful union in America, the Major League Baseball Player's union, would never enable it, Clemens should exhibit some testicular fortitude and attempt to reimburse Steinbrenner for the unmitigated disaster that he was this year. On second thought, his testicles have likely eroded as the result of years of abusing steroids.

Speaking of banned performance enhancing drugs, a report surfaced moments ago indicating that former U.S. Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell will release his report into steroids before the end of the year and the investigation will link many superstars and previously unmentioned players to the doping scandal. Run, Roger, run! Maybe A-Rod should start warming up to."

Mitchell pinpointing Clemens as a juice-head caught me with about as much shock as when Britney Spears acknowledged she lost her virginity prior to marriage. On the other end of the spectrum, I was absolutely flabbergasted that Alex Rodriguez wasn't in the report. As mind-numbing as it is, in this distorted day and age, Jose Canseco is baseball's answer to “Honest” Abe Lincoln when it comes to performance enhancing drugs. If Canseco says that A-Post-Season-Out has put needles in his back-cheeks then it’s likely he did. Seeing A-Rod tell Katie Couric on CBS that he is, and always has been, clean and void of synthetic testosterone reminded me a lot of when baseball's resident disgraced liar, Rafael Palmeiro, 43, told congress with finger-wagging intensity that he'd "never done steroids, period." Of course, with the Price of Polarization, the only difference was that Rodriguez got paid to pronounce his alleged innocence.

• Generally, I am not a conspiracy theorist. I think Lee Harvey Oswald was Jack Kennedy's lone murderer that terrible afternoon in Dallas, Texas. I think 19 members of Al Qaeda commandeered 4 commercial aircrafts on 9/11/2001 and that's that. But, with A-Rod's conspicuous omission, I wonder if Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig didn't politely ask Mr. Mitchell to keep his paws off the heir apparent to his sports all-time home-run crown. Rodriguez, who has 518 round-trippers at 32 years of age, will likely surpass Barry Bonds, the face of steroids, and his 762 lifetime dingers somewhere in the vicinity of the year 2012. Selig needs a dirty Rodriguez as much as he needs a case of herpes and I am confident that he'll go to great lengths to keep A-Rod's drug results cleaner than Danny Tanner's kitchen floor.

I know that what I'm writing is very speculative and controversial and I realize I'm going to chap a number of asses with my stance here. I am sorry. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I mean, you've heard crazier conspiracy theories, right?

• Listening to President George W. Bush address reporters in the wake of Mitchell's findings was yet another reminder that our leader is not the most phenomenal of public speakers. To be blunt, "Dubya" makes Reginald Denny sound eloquent

• If there's only one thing we should take away from the Mitchell Report it is that accused slugger David Justice "don't do no needles."

• Going into the 2007 MLB Playoffs, I erroneously predicted that the New York Yankees would cruise to their 27th world championship with ease. They didn't and the 2008 version of the Bomber's won't either if their brass doesn't finally make a transaction of some significant means. Oh, re-signing veterans at the back end of their careers doesn't count.

• The New England Patriot's (14-0) defeated the overmatched New York Jets (3-11) 20-10 Sunday in deplorable weather conditions to conclude this year’s chapter of "the Border War." The Patriot's truly are a tremendous squad and they could compete with any team from any era. Nevertheless, they haven't won the championship this year yet and every week I become more convinced that they won't.

• It's been more than ten days since "Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather ( 39-0 ), 30, knocked-out British folk hero Ricky "the Hitman" Hatton ( 43-1 ), 29, and I still can't get Hatton's song out of my head.

There's only one Ricky Hatton,
There's only one Ricky Hatton,
Walking along,
Singing a Song,
Walking in a Hatton wonderland.

Without dispute, these are the most grating lyrics since Hanson spewed "Um-Bop" circa 1997.

• Brian Sean Griffith, 40, a former bodyguard and hitman for white-trash figure skater Tonya Harding, died of natural causes last week in Washington County, Oregon. Griffith, who is the former Shawn Eckardt, gained infamy in 1994 when he conspired with two other degenerates, Harding's ex-husband Jeff Gillooly and the thug known as Shane Stant, to immobilize Harding's rival skater, Nancy Kerrigan. Despite her bummed gam, Kerrigan still managed to win the silver medal at the 1994 Winter Olympics. Griffith ultimately served 14-months on charges of racketeering for his role in the incident and he changed his name legally after being sprung from the pen in September of 1995.

Griffith, a born loser who was charged with misdemeanor assault in 2001, saw his computer business, Applied Information Systems, go belly-up in 2005 and he had been struggling to make ends meat ever since. There must be a higher power when a 40-year-old man of his moral fiber dies of "natural causes." As the nefarious Greek said on HBO's "The Wire," "The World is a smaller place now."

• I hope I find everyone having a tremendous Holiday Season and I sincerely thank you for giving me your time.