I thank you all for giving me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain everyone with my rapid thoughts on the past few days in the world of sports.
Kelvin Sampson, a mental-gimp who is a notorious and talentless repeat-cheater, resigned as Head Coach of the Indiana University men's basketball team Friday night after agreeing to a $750,000 buyout of his contract. In the interim, Dan Dakich will assume coaching responsibilities and attempt to lead the Hoosiers (22-4) to their first championship since 1987. Despite the Hoosiers great success on the hardwood to date, this has been the darkest season in the storied and pristine history of the program and jettisoning the worthless Sampson should be considered as steps to a renaissance for the Assembly Hall faithful. Indiana doesn't necessarily need Coach Norman Dale. But, they do need someone and I'd rather have Delilah than Sampson.
IBO and IBF Heavyweight Champion Wladimir Klitschko (50-3), 31, defeated an underwhelming Sultan Ibragimov (22-1-1), 32, via unanimous decision to gain Ibragimov's WBO crown in a boring and lackluster fight at Madison Square Garden Saturday night. Despite the hideous display of pugilism, Klitschko got closer to becoming the first unified heavyweight champion in nearly two-decades and anything he does henceforth I will handle with kid gloves (pun intended). Klitschko may not be akin to the menacing Russian Ivan Drago. But, there are no Rocky Balboa's in this once glamorous division and, at this point, "Dr. Steelhammer" is acceptable and simply as good as it gets.
William Gary, an undrafted rookie who played for the 2001 St. Louis Rams in their 20-17 upset-loss to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVI, has filed a $100 million lawsuit with others against the team from Foxboro in retaliation to reports that the Patriots illegally filmed the Rams walk-through prior to the game. Gary's mindless lawsuit is the most asinine attempt to extort money since Cosmo Kramer and his lawyer, Jackie Chiles, sued Java World for brewing "hot" coffee that eventually burned the eccentric Seinfeld character. If Gary's case is not immediately dismissed as baseless, our legal system is in utter disarray.
I am virtually positive that I know what candidate I am going to vote for in the 2008 Presidential Election. But, if Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) unexpectedly and belatedly threw his name into the mix, I'd have to revise my choice.
The New England Patriots (18-1*) were a collection of unlikable players in the 2007 season. Within a span of one year, they were caught cheating. Their "Golden-Boy" quarterback, Tom Brady, had a child out-of-wedlock while he was fornicating with a Brazilian supermodel. One of their stars on defense and the dirtiest player in the entire league, safety Rodney Harrison, 34, tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. Their polarizing jackass of a wide receiver, Randy Moss, was accused by a woman of battery. Finally, to put a neat-bow on the crew of miscreants, their sunny and classless Head Coach, Bill Belichick, decided to vacate the field before time expired in their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the New York football Giants.
Nevertheless, all is not evil and bad. Sometimes one just needs to look more closely to find the good in something or someone. Thanks to the Patsies timely demise, thousands upon thousands of unsold hats and shirts with the slogans "19-0" and "Patriots Super Bowl Champions" were donated to a charity that shipped the comedic merchandise to an impoverished Central American country this past week. See, there is light everywhere in a world that sometimes seems dark and unforgiving. Just ask the poor Nicaraguan children who are now unwittingly the newest members of Patriot Nation.
PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE YET TO WATCH EPISODE 58 OF HBO'S CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED DRAMA THE WIRE.
One of the greatest characters in the annals of modern television was murdered last Sunday night by a psychotic, cat-torturing 13-year-old. Omar Devon Little, 34, a homosexual stick-up artist beloved by alpha-males everywhere, died instantly after receiving a single gunshot wound to the head in a Korean convenience store. "Oh, indeed," Little's unique and disciplined "code" and his engaging screen presence will forever be missed. As the facially-scarred gunmen once said, "You come at the king, you best not miss." Omar never missed and he will always be a king to fans of the Wire. Rest-in-peace, Mr. Little.
Thanks again for reading my material. Without your readership, I’d have absolutely zero reason to write.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
In the Web
• As always, thanks for taking the time to give me some of your time. I hope I entertain you with my take on the past few days in the world of sports.
• New York Yankees Senior Vice President Hank Steinbrenner said yesterday that baseball is unjustifiably tagged as the only sport with a steroid problem and he alleged the epidemic is far worse in the National Football League than it is on the diamond.
“I don’t like baseball being singled out,” said Steinbrenner. “Everybody that knows sports knows football is tailor-made for performance-enhancing drugs. I don’t know how they managed to skate by. It irritates me. Don’t tell me it’s not more prevalent. The number in football is at least twice as many. Look at the speed and size of those players.”
Surely Steinbrenner chapped a number of asses with his controversial allegations and I imagine that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell would now love to duel with big-Hank in a “Mexican Street Fight.” Nevertheless, it’s usually refreshing when a man of significance speaks his mind instead of being neutral and politically correct. Steinbrenner called the proverbial spade a spade and the NFL knows it.
• New York Yankees Senior Vice President Hank Steinbrenner said yesterday that baseball is unjustifiably tagged as the only sport with a steroid problem and he alleged the epidemic is far worse in the National Football League than it is on the diamond.
“I don’t like baseball being singled out,” said Steinbrenner. “Everybody that knows sports knows football is tailor-made for performance-enhancing drugs. I don’t know how they managed to skate by. It irritates me. Don’t tell me it’s not more prevalent. The number in football is at least twice as many. Look at the speed and size of those players.”
Surely Steinbrenner chapped a number of asses with his controversial allegations and I imagine that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell would now love to duel with big-Hank in a “Mexican Street Fight.” Nevertheless, it’s usually refreshing when a man of significance speaks his mind instead of being neutral and politically correct. Steinbrenner called the proverbial spade a spade and the NFL knows it.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
In the Web
Former Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker, a village idiot who alienated the city of New York with his racist and homophobic comments, became the latest outcast to finger New York Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez as an abuser of steroids. On Monday, the obnoxious hick from Georgia claimed that in spring training of 2002 a doctor hired by the Major League Baseball Players Association instructed him and his then Texas Rangers teammate on how to juice-up in a way that is "not going to hurt you." This is the second time since December that A-Post-Season-Out has been accused of utilizing synthetic testosterone. In the immediate aftermath of the Mitchell Report, Jose Canseco, a dishonorable speaker of truth, said he was flabbergasted that A-Rod wasn't among the 83 names mentioned in the Director of the Boston Red Sox investigation into performance enhancing drugs."All I can say is the Mitchell Report is incomplete," Canseco said. "I could not believe that (Rodriguez's) name was not in the report."As mind-numbing as it is, in this distorted day and steroid age, Canseco is baseball's answer to "Honest" Abe Lincoln and if he says the purple-lipped pariah took a banned substance then he likely did.
Generally, I am not a conspiracy theorist. After reading Gerald Posner's book "Cased Closed," I think Lee Harvey Oswald was Jack Kennedy's lone murderer that terrible afternoon in Dallas, Texas. I am also not a member of the “9-11 Truth Movement.” I think 19 members of Al Qaeda commandeered 4 commercial aircrafts on 9/11/2001 and that's that. But, with A-Rod's conspicuous omission from Mitchell’s report, I wonder if a conspiracy is not in our midst. Can one not fathom Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig politely asking his investigator to keep his paws off the heir apparent to his sports all-time home-run crown? Rodriguez, who has 518 round-trippers at 32 years of age, will likely surpass Barry Bonds, the face of steroids, and his 762 lifetime dingers somewhere in the vicinity of the year 2012. Selig needs a dirty Rodriguez as much as he needs a case of herpes and I am confident that he'll go to great lengths to keep A-Rod's drug results cleaner than Danny Tanner's kitchen floor.
By the way, for those keeping record at home, the Red Sox mediocre pitcher, Daisuke Matsuzaka, has recorded more postseason RBI’s (2) than A-Rod has since game four of the 2004 ALCS. Rodriguez has one RBI since that timeframe.
Wednesday on Capitol Hill, tarnished baseball icon Roger Clemens exhibited the least impressive performance in a court of law since Stanley Rothenstein’s public defender graced us with his stuttering-self in “My Cousin Vinny.” Under oath, rogue trainer Brian McNamee said he injected Andy Pettitte with human growth hormone and, when pressed, the lefty-ace acknowledged that McNamee was being straightforward with his account. After having his ear placed against the proverbial stove, McNamee revealed that he also injected Clemens better-half, Debbie, with HGH and the pitcher’s wife reluctantly admitted that McNamee was speaking with candor. Are we truly to believe that McNamee is lying solely regarding his accusations towards Clemens? I think not. Clemens is a disgraceful excuse for a husband, friend and ballplayer.
Since its Valentine’s Day, one needs to wonder what Knicks owner James Dolan and his Head Coach Isiah Thomas have planned for the night. I’ll bet they are going to share a bath in a heart-shaped tub and listen to the sexual melodies of Marvin Gaye from a Bose sound system.
Generally, I am not a conspiracy theorist. After reading Gerald Posner's book "Cased Closed," I think Lee Harvey Oswald was Jack Kennedy's lone murderer that terrible afternoon in Dallas, Texas. I am also not a member of the “9-11 Truth Movement.” I think 19 members of Al Qaeda commandeered 4 commercial aircrafts on 9/11/2001 and that's that. But, with A-Rod's conspicuous omission from Mitchell’s report, I wonder if a conspiracy is not in our midst. Can one not fathom Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig politely asking his investigator to keep his paws off the heir apparent to his sports all-time home-run crown? Rodriguez, who has 518 round-trippers at 32 years of age, will likely surpass Barry Bonds, the face of steroids, and his 762 lifetime dingers somewhere in the vicinity of the year 2012. Selig needs a dirty Rodriguez as much as he needs a case of herpes and I am confident that he'll go to great lengths to keep A-Rod's drug results cleaner than Danny Tanner's kitchen floor.
By the way, for those keeping record at home, the Red Sox mediocre pitcher, Daisuke Matsuzaka, has recorded more postseason RBI’s (2) than A-Rod has since game four of the 2004 ALCS. Rodriguez has one RBI since that timeframe.
Wednesday on Capitol Hill, tarnished baseball icon Roger Clemens exhibited the least impressive performance in a court of law since Stanley Rothenstein’s public defender graced us with his stuttering-self in “My Cousin Vinny.” Under oath, rogue trainer Brian McNamee said he injected Andy Pettitte with human growth hormone and, when pressed, the lefty-ace acknowledged that McNamee was being straightforward with his account. After having his ear placed against the proverbial stove, McNamee revealed that he also injected Clemens better-half, Debbie, with HGH and the pitcher’s wife reluctantly admitted that McNamee was speaking with candor. Are we truly to believe that McNamee is lying solely regarding his accusations towards Clemens? I think not. Clemens is a disgraceful excuse for a husband, friend and ballplayer.
Since its Valentine’s Day, one needs to wonder what Knicks owner James Dolan and his Head Coach Isiah Thomas have planned for the night. I’ll bet they are going to share a bath in a heart-shaped tub and listen to the sexual melodies of Marvin Gaye from a Bose sound system.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
In the Web
· Genuine thanks to you all for giving me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain you with my rapid take on the week that was in the world of sports.
· Tarnished baseball legend Roger Clemens and controversial trainer Brian McNamee met with congressional investigators this past week in preparation for their February 13th hearing on steroids in front of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. Clemens and McNamee have conducted an intense smear campaign against one another designed to discredit and slander the other man's word before Wednesday's much-anticipated testimonials. To date, McNamee has dominated the mudslinging war by providing the feds with vials that allegedly contain traces of steroids and human growth hormone, as well as blood-stained syringes and gauze pads that purportedly contain Clemens DNA. For good measure, McNamee reportedly told investigators that he also injected Clemens better-half, Debbie, with HGH before she posed in a bikini alongside her portly husband for a 2003 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photograph. McNamee preserving the noted evidence could simultaneously be the sketchiest and most pertinent proof since Monica Lewinsky revealed her semen-stained dress and it may be the smoking gun that lands Clemens in a "Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison." On the positive side for "the Rocket," he recently shed his frost-tip haircut. That bodes well for the notorious headhunter because such manes are likely very popular behind bars.
· Robert Montgomery Knight, 67, resigned this past week as the Head Coach of Texas Tech University. Knight, who quit on his team with the most career coaching wins in NCAA Division I history (902-371), is renowned for running clean programs (not one of his squads was ever sanctioned for recruiting violations) and graduating the large majority of his players. Regardless of his vast pedigree on the sideline, Knight is a miserable bully whose accomplishments are dwarfed by his hideous behavior and treatment of others. Knight's callous and offensive statements and actions are innumerable. While coaching the U.S. team at the 1979 Pan American Games, Knight assaulted a Puerto Rican police officer over a dispute regarding a practice facility. In 1993, he kicked his own son Pat in the huddle of a game at Assembly Hall in Indiana leading the Hoosier faithful to jeer their inexplicable "hero." In an April 1988 interview with Connie Chung, Knight said "I think if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it." The mentioned is a very, very brief exemplification of the malevolent individual that Knight really is. Bobby Knight was a great basketball coach. Bobby Knight never was and he never will be a good man. As Kent Harvey said when he was an IU freshman, "Hey, Knight. What's up?" Luckily for the world of collegiate athletics, "the General" no longer is.
· University of Illinois athletic officials apologized for their fans behavior Thursday night in an 83-79 double overtime loss to arch-rival and 14th-ranked Indiana (19-3, 8-1) and their superstar turncoat Eric Gordon, 19. Gordon, a freshman guard who reneged on a verbal commitment to play for the Illini in late-2005, endured some of the vilest treatment since William Wallace meet his English executioners toward the end of Braveheart. Despite the hostile road environment and his shoddy play early, Gordon scored 18 second-half points to lead the Hoosiers to a colossal Big Ten victory. A crucial win like this is yet another reason to believe that the month of March will be very kind to the Hoosiers and don’t be surprised if Kelvin Sampson’s crew is singing “One Shining Moment” come April.
· Former WBO Heavyweight Champion Tommy "the Duke" Morrison (47-3-1), 39, who tested positive for the HIV virus in 1996, is scheduled to fight Matt Weishaar Saturday night on a Top Rank-promoted pay-per-view card in Leon, Mexico. The Association of Boxing Commissions is urging Top Rank matchmaker Bruce Trampler to mandate a blood test despite the fact that Mexico does not require them for fighters. The deadly HIV virus, which can not be cured, is transmitted via infected blood, semen and vaginal fluid. Boxing is a blood sport. No matter how minimal the chances are of acquiring the HIV virus in the ring, it is categorically insane to even contemplate putting the Rocky V star in a bout.
· The Miami Heat sent iconic center Shaquille O'Neal, 35, to the Phoenix Suns this week in exchange for 4-time all star forward Shawn Marion, 29, and Marcus Banks. Many hardwood pundits think that the Suns banged the pooch with their decision to acquire the aging and fragile big man. I am not one of those pundits. Granted, the Phoenix Suns have been one of the elite teams in the NBA for years and their fast-paced offense is a thing of beautiful production. But, they have never been able to get over the proverbial hump and there is nothing to indicate that they would have this year without making a transaction of some genuine magnitude. The acquisition of Shaq will grant Amare Stoudemire with great protection down-low and I believe the Suns, being led by two-time MVP playmaker Steve Nash, will create serious match-up issues for every team that they meet from this point on. The Suns couldn't win it all without Shaq. Now we'll find out if Phoenix will rise to championship glory with Superman on its side.
· New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury, 30, will miss the remainder of the season because of complications he’s encountered from ankle surgery he underwent 3-weeks ago. With Marbury on the sideline indefinitely, the Knickerbockers quest for a championship is in grave jeopardy. Ha!!
After drinking like Mickey Rourke's character in Barfly, my friends and I began to discuss the male soap opera that was formerly known as the WWF. During the bender, a fascinating question was broached by my friend, Latroy. Latroy wondered who was the most prominent and important grappler among the trio of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, "Macho Man" Randy Savage and the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. I entirely realize that I'm probably going to get a great deal of flack on my comment board for writing about a topic that many find to be such a reprehensible waste. But, if there is anyone with love for 80's squared circle action, your feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks again for providing me with some of your time. Without your readership, I’d have no reason to write.
· Tarnished baseball legend Roger Clemens and controversial trainer Brian McNamee met with congressional investigators this past week in preparation for their February 13th hearing on steroids in front of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. Clemens and McNamee have conducted an intense smear campaign against one another designed to discredit and slander the other man's word before Wednesday's much-anticipated testimonials. To date, McNamee has dominated the mudslinging war by providing the feds with vials that allegedly contain traces of steroids and human growth hormone, as well as blood-stained syringes and gauze pads that purportedly contain Clemens DNA. For good measure, McNamee reportedly told investigators that he also injected Clemens better-half, Debbie, with HGH before she posed in a bikini alongside her portly husband for a 2003 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photograph. McNamee preserving the noted evidence could simultaneously be the sketchiest and most pertinent proof since Monica Lewinsky revealed her semen-stained dress and it may be the smoking gun that lands Clemens in a "Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison." On the positive side for "the Rocket," he recently shed his frost-tip haircut. That bodes well for the notorious headhunter because such manes are likely very popular behind bars.
· Robert Montgomery Knight, 67, resigned this past week as the Head Coach of Texas Tech University. Knight, who quit on his team with the most career coaching wins in NCAA Division I history (902-371), is renowned for running clean programs (not one of his squads was ever sanctioned for recruiting violations) and graduating the large majority of his players. Regardless of his vast pedigree on the sideline, Knight is a miserable bully whose accomplishments are dwarfed by his hideous behavior and treatment of others. Knight's callous and offensive statements and actions are innumerable. While coaching the U.S. team at the 1979 Pan American Games, Knight assaulted a Puerto Rican police officer over a dispute regarding a practice facility. In 1993, he kicked his own son Pat in the huddle of a game at Assembly Hall in Indiana leading the Hoosier faithful to jeer their inexplicable "hero." In an April 1988 interview with Connie Chung, Knight said "I think if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it." The mentioned is a very, very brief exemplification of the malevolent individual that Knight really is. Bobby Knight was a great basketball coach. Bobby Knight never was and he never will be a good man. As Kent Harvey said when he was an IU freshman, "Hey, Knight. What's up?" Luckily for the world of collegiate athletics, "the General" no longer is.
· University of Illinois athletic officials apologized for their fans behavior Thursday night in an 83-79 double overtime loss to arch-rival and 14th-ranked Indiana (19-3, 8-1) and their superstar turncoat Eric Gordon, 19. Gordon, a freshman guard who reneged on a verbal commitment to play for the Illini in late-2005, endured some of the vilest treatment since William Wallace meet his English executioners toward the end of Braveheart. Despite the hostile road environment and his shoddy play early, Gordon scored 18 second-half points to lead the Hoosiers to a colossal Big Ten victory. A crucial win like this is yet another reason to believe that the month of March will be very kind to the Hoosiers and don’t be surprised if Kelvin Sampson’s crew is singing “One Shining Moment” come April.
· Former WBO Heavyweight Champion Tommy "the Duke" Morrison (47-3-1), 39, who tested positive for the HIV virus in 1996, is scheduled to fight Matt Weishaar Saturday night on a Top Rank-promoted pay-per-view card in Leon, Mexico. The Association of Boxing Commissions is urging Top Rank matchmaker Bruce Trampler to mandate a blood test despite the fact that Mexico does not require them for fighters. The deadly HIV virus, which can not be cured, is transmitted via infected blood, semen and vaginal fluid. Boxing is a blood sport. No matter how minimal the chances are of acquiring the HIV virus in the ring, it is categorically insane to even contemplate putting the Rocky V star in a bout.
· The Miami Heat sent iconic center Shaquille O'Neal, 35, to the Phoenix Suns this week in exchange for 4-time all star forward Shawn Marion, 29, and Marcus Banks. Many hardwood pundits think that the Suns banged the pooch with their decision to acquire the aging and fragile big man. I am not one of those pundits. Granted, the Phoenix Suns have been one of the elite teams in the NBA for years and their fast-paced offense is a thing of beautiful production. But, they have never been able to get over the proverbial hump and there is nothing to indicate that they would have this year without making a transaction of some genuine magnitude. The acquisition of Shaq will grant Amare Stoudemire with great protection down-low and I believe the Suns, being led by two-time MVP playmaker Steve Nash, will create serious match-up issues for every team that they meet from this point on. The Suns couldn't win it all without Shaq. Now we'll find out if Phoenix will rise to championship glory with Superman on its side.
· New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury, 30, will miss the remainder of the season because of complications he’s encountered from ankle surgery he underwent 3-weeks ago. With Marbury on the sideline indefinitely, the Knickerbockers quest for a championship is in grave jeopardy. Ha!!
After drinking like Mickey Rourke's character in Barfly, my friends and I began to discuss the male soap opera that was formerly known as the WWF. During the bender, a fascinating question was broached by my friend, Latroy. Latroy wondered who was the most prominent and important grappler among the trio of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, "Macho Man" Randy Savage and the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. I entirely realize that I'm probably going to get a great deal of flack on my comment board for writing about a topic that many find to be such a reprehensible waste. But, if there is anyone with love for 80's squared circle action, your feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks again for providing me with some of your time. Without your readership, I’d have no reason to write.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
In the Web
· I thank you all for giving me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain you with my thoughts on the greatest Super Bowl ever played. Welcome to another edition of "In the Web."
· Ding Dong the witch is dead. The team that many proclaimed was the greatest in the history of the NFL was not even the best one on the gridiron in 2007. In an upset of Davey and Goliath proportions, the New York football Giants (14-6) defeated the “unbeatable” New England Patriots (18-1*) 17-14 in Glendale, Arizona in Super Bowl XLII.
Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning (19-for-34, 255 yards, 2 touchdowns), an individual I once compared to Corky Thatcher, threw the game-winning 13-yard touchdown pass to embattled wide receiver Plaxico Burress with 35-seconds remaining in regulation to lead the Big Blue to their third championship in franchise history. Despite their shocking demise, the record-setting 2007 New England Patriots were a legendary squad whose accomplishments should never be forgotten or diminished. Unfortunately, in lieu of Sunday’s gut-wrenching loss, one can anticipate that history will not be kind or complimentary to the Patsies.
At this moment, it is impractical to suggest that this years version of the Patriots are anything more than the 43rd best team in the history of the National Football League and it would be an utter crime to mention them in the same breath as the 2007 championship-winning football team from Gotham.
· Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, announced last week that he wants to speak with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and possibly hold hearings to determine the leagues reasoning for destroying all evidence from “Spygate.” In response to Specter’s request, Goodell stated that he would gladly meet with the Senator to discuss the Patriots cheating tactics and the two have tentatively agreed to rendezvous sometime early next week.
Two days after Specter’s and Goodell’s political jockeying, the Boston Herald published a report Saturday asserting that Bill Belichick and his nefarious Patriot staff illegally taped the St. Louis Rams’ private walk-through before their 20-17 triumph in Super Bowl XXXVI. If such an unsportsmanlike taping actually transpired, the Patriots would have had an enormous competitive edge in the red zone and there is little to no question that it would have played a vital role in New England’s measly 3-point “upset” victory over the heavily-favored Rams.Whatever motives Specter may have for revitalizing the notorious "Spygate" scandal, if this allegation is proved to be true, Goodell needs to administer a swift and powerful punishment to Belichick and New England as a whole. I’d broach the idea of publicly stoning the philandering fashion-plate. But, in a civilized society, that isn’t realistic. So, suspending Belichick for an entire season and forfeiting the Patriots 2001 championship campaign would seem perfectly justified. Draconian sanctions of the like are not unprecedented in the world of sports. Just ask the University of Michigan and the much-ballyhooed “Fab Five." In case you forgot, their 1992 Final Four run never happened.
As Sophocles once said, “I’d rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”
· The New York Giants, who entered Sunday as 11-point underdogs in the Super Bowl, cost Nevada sports books a record $2.6 million with their epic 17-14 victory. As Detective Jimmy McNulty said on HBO’s the Wire, “You play in dirt, you get dirty.”
· Eli Manning, 27, deserves a wealth of credit and respect for producing under Manhattan's unrelenting and downright harsh glare. Nevertheless, regardless of his performance in the playoffs, Manning is an unrefined product who desperately needs to improve his horrid mechanics in the off-season. I am not trying to urinate on Eli while he sips on his champagne.
The facts are that this past season Manning, the 1st overall selection in the 2004 draft, had a sub-par quarterback rating (73.9), he completed only 56.1% of his passes and he was tied for the league lead with 20 interceptions. Those numbers are virtually Leaf-ian and it is imperative that Manning develops into the performer that his skills indicate he can become on a consistent basis. If he doesn't locate consistency with his game, the New York area will turn on him quicker than a pit bull on a poodle and Arizona will feel further away than Melmac.
· Ding Dong the witch is dead. The team that many proclaimed was the greatest in the history of the NFL was not even the best one on the gridiron in 2007. In an upset of Davey and Goliath proportions, the New York football Giants (14-6) defeated the “unbeatable” New England Patriots (18-1*) 17-14 in Glendale, Arizona in Super Bowl XLII.
Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning (19-for-34, 255 yards, 2 touchdowns), an individual I once compared to Corky Thatcher, threw the game-winning 13-yard touchdown pass to embattled wide receiver Plaxico Burress with 35-seconds remaining in regulation to lead the Big Blue to their third championship in franchise history. Despite their shocking demise, the record-setting 2007 New England Patriots were a legendary squad whose accomplishments should never be forgotten or diminished. Unfortunately, in lieu of Sunday’s gut-wrenching loss, one can anticipate that history will not be kind or complimentary to the Patsies.
At this moment, it is impractical to suggest that this years version of the Patriots are anything more than the 43rd best team in the history of the National Football League and it would be an utter crime to mention them in the same breath as the 2007 championship-winning football team from Gotham.
· Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, announced last week that he wants to speak with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and possibly hold hearings to determine the leagues reasoning for destroying all evidence from “Spygate.” In response to Specter’s request, Goodell stated that he would gladly meet with the Senator to discuss the Patriots cheating tactics and the two have tentatively agreed to rendezvous sometime early next week.
Two days after Specter’s and Goodell’s political jockeying, the Boston Herald published a report Saturday asserting that Bill Belichick and his nefarious Patriot staff illegally taped the St. Louis Rams’ private walk-through before their 20-17 triumph in Super Bowl XXXVI. If such an unsportsmanlike taping actually transpired, the Patriots would have had an enormous competitive edge in the red zone and there is little to no question that it would have played a vital role in New England’s measly 3-point “upset” victory over the heavily-favored Rams.Whatever motives Specter may have for revitalizing the notorious "Spygate" scandal, if this allegation is proved to be true, Goodell needs to administer a swift and powerful punishment to Belichick and New England as a whole. I’d broach the idea of publicly stoning the philandering fashion-plate. But, in a civilized society, that isn’t realistic. So, suspending Belichick for an entire season and forfeiting the Patriots 2001 championship campaign would seem perfectly justified. Draconian sanctions of the like are not unprecedented in the world of sports. Just ask the University of Michigan and the much-ballyhooed “Fab Five." In case you forgot, their 1992 Final Four run never happened.
As Sophocles once said, “I’d rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”
· The New York Giants, who entered Sunday as 11-point underdogs in the Super Bowl, cost Nevada sports books a record $2.6 million with their epic 17-14 victory. As Detective Jimmy McNulty said on HBO’s the Wire, “You play in dirt, you get dirty.”
· Eli Manning, 27, deserves a wealth of credit and respect for producing under Manhattan's unrelenting and downright harsh glare. Nevertheless, regardless of his performance in the playoffs, Manning is an unrefined product who desperately needs to improve his horrid mechanics in the off-season. I am not trying to urinate on Eli while he sips on his champagne.
The facts are that this past season Manning, the 1st overall selection in the 2004 draft, had a sub-par quarterback rating (73.9), he completed only 56.1% of his passes and he was tied for the league lead with 20 interceptions. Those numbers are virtually Leaf-ian and it is imperative that Manning develops into the performer that his skills indicate he can become on a consistent basis. If he doesn't locate consistency with his game, the New York area will turn on him quicker than a pit bull on a poodle and Arizona will feel further away than Melmac.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
In the Web
The New York Mets acquired two-time Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana this week from the Minnesota Twins in exchange for four coveted minor league prospects. The deal was finalized Friday night when Santana, 28, and the Mets agreed to a record-setting contract extension worth $137.5 million over six-years. Santana, who is 93-44 with a 3.22 ERA in eight major league seasons, is the most pivotal acquisition the Metropolitans have made since they landed first baseman Keith Hernandez in 1983.
The acquisition of Santana adds a legitimate frontline starter to an already productive and balanced rotation and it makes the Mets prohibitive favorites to capture their first National League pennant since 2000. The Mets, whose late-September collapse in 2007 rivaled the hideous demise of the Giuliani campaign this past week, will always be the red-headed step-children from Gotham. But, because of this instrumental free agent parlay, they will likely be the Big Apple’s best squad on the diamond throughout the 2008 season.
As a massive Yankees aficionado, I hope I am wrong. But, unfortunately, I don’t think I will be. The Mets are the safest bet since Takeru Kobayashi nestled his lips around a frank.
The acquisition of Santana adds a legitimate frontline starter to an already productive and balanced rotation and it makes the Mets prohibitive favorites to capture their first National League pennant since 2000. The Mets, whose late-September collapse in 2007 rivaled the hideous demise of the Giuliani campaign this past week, will always be the red-headed step-children from Gotham. But, because of this instrumental free agent parlay, they will likely be the Big Apple’s best squad on the diamond throughout the 2008 season.
As a massive Yankees aficionado, I hope I am wrong. But, unfortunately, I don’t think I will be. The Mets are the safest bet since Takeru Kobayashi nestled his lips around a frank.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
In the Web
The indomitable New England Patriots (18-0) will play the upstart New York Giants (13-6) next week at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. Whether or not the Patriots triumph over Gotham’s Big Blue, they are deserving of their dynasty label. The Patriots are simply one of the most overwhelming teams in the annals of North American professional sports.
Because of New England’s decade-long dominance, some pundits have hailed their “HC,” Bill Belichick, 55, as the best coach to ever stroll an NFL sideline and others have had the audacity to infer that the Vince Lombardi Trophy should be re-named after the Patriots nefarious cheater. Such a ludicrous and unfounded assertion is shire tomfoolery. The loveable Belichick, who makes Dick Cheney seem warm and bubbly, is a good coach who has reached an unjustifiably mythic status by riding the coattails of his iconic quarterback for the ages, Tom Brady, 30.
While coaching in Cleveland and without Brady, Belichick led the Browns to a paltry record of 36-44 before being terminated after five miserable seasons. The grand majority of Clevelanders understandably rejoiced when the philandering fashion plate met his professional maker. Belichick chapped the asses of players, fans and the media alike and his coaching “skills” were proven to be subpar while he alienated the bulk of the Cleveland region.
In his first year as the “HC” of New England, Belichick once again exhibited his anemic guidance en route to “leading” the Patsies to an intimidating record of 5-11. In 2001, the Patriots began the season with a mark of 0-2 before the New York Jets and their linebacker, Mo Lewis, changed the course of history for the Patriots and the overrated Belichick. After being flushed from the pocket, starting quarterback Drew Bledsoe, 35, ran upright to the sideline before being lambasted by Lewis. The vicious hit by Lewis caused moderate internal bleeding in Bledsoe and it opened the door for Brady to take control as New England’s signal caller.
Prior to being blessed with Brady, Belichick had a combined (Cleveland and New England) Hall of Fame record of 41-57. Since stumbling upon the rare pot of gold that is Brady, the man who perpetuated “Spygate” has gone 86-24. I like coincidences as much as I enjoy jock-itch and I refuse to believe that those numbers don’t expose Belichick for the mediocre gump that he is.
I fully realize that I reek of anti-New England bias. For me, cheering for Belichick and the Pats is akin to rooting for the reemergence of polio. But, how can anyone genuinely claim that Belichick is a better coach than either Bill Parcells or Joe Gibbs? Parcells captured two Superbowl championships with two different quarterbacks and he won at all four coaching stops that he made. Gibbs won three Superbowls in Washington with three different Redskin signal-callers. That puts Belichick, at best, as the third most decorated coach that I’ve seen in the NFL since I began watching the sport in 1987. So, please, New Englanders put down your Samuel Adams and take in a dose of reality. Green Bay Packers fans, take solace. The championship trophy will always be named after the truly special Lombardi.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Because of New England’s decade-long dominance, some pundits have hailed their “HC,” Bill Belichick, 55, as the best coach to ever stroll an NFL sideline and others have had the audacity to infer that the Vince Lombardi Trophy should be re-named after the Patriots nefarious cheater. Such a ludicrous and unfounded assertion is shire tomfoolery. The loveable Belichick, who makes Dick Cheney seem warm and bubbly, is a good coach who has reached an unjustifiably mythic status by riding the coattails of his iconic quarterback for the ages, Tom Brady, 30.
While coaching in Cleveland and without Brady, Belichick led the Browns to a paltry record of 36-44 before being terminated after five miserable seasons. The grand majority of Clevelanders understandably rejoiced when the philandering fashion plate met his professional maker. Belichick chapped the asses of players, fans and the media alike and his coaching “skills” were proven to be subpar while he alienated the bulk of the Cleveland region.
In his first year as the “HC” of New England, Belichick once again exhibited his anemic guidance en route to “leading” the Patsies to an intimidating record of 5-11. In 2001, the Patriots began the season with a mark of 0-2 before the New York Jets and their linebacker, Mo Lewis, changed the course of history for the Patriots and the overrated Belichick. After being flushed from the pocket, starting quarterback Drew Bledsoe, 35, ran upright to the sideline before being lambasted by Lewis. The vicious hit by Lewis caused moderate internal bleeding in Bledsoe and it opened the door for Brady to take control as New England’s signal caller.
Prior to being blessed with Brady, Belichick had a combined (Cleveland and New England) Hall of Fame record of 41-57. Since stumbling upon the rare pot of gold that is Brady, the man who perpetuated “Spygate” has gone 86-24. I like coincidences as much as I enjoy jock-itch and I refuse to believe that those numbers don’t expose Belichick for the mediocre gump that he is.
I fully realize that I reek of anti-New England bias. For me, cheering for Belichick and the Pats is akin to rooting for the reemergence of polio. But, how can anyone genuinely claim that Belichick is a better coach than either Bill Parcells or Joe Gibbs? Parcells captured two Superbowl championships with two different quarterbacks and he won at all four coaching stops that he made. Gibbs won three Superbowls in Washington with three different Redskin signal-callers. That puts Belichick, at best, as the third most decorated coach that I’ve seen in the NFL since I began watching the sport in 1987. So, please, New Englanders put down your Samuel Adams and take in a dose of reality. Green Bay Packers fans, take solace. The championship trophy will always be named after the truly special Lombardi.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
In the Web
· I send my gratitude to you all for taking the time to read my vantage on the week that was in the world of sports. Unfortunately, I found a dearth of subject matter to make mention of this week. Nevertheless, I tried to comprise a quality piece and I hope I still manage to entertain.
· The indomitable New England Patriots (18-0) will play the upstart New York Giants (13-6) next week in Superbowl XLII at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. The Patriots, who will justifiably enter the game as 14-point favorites, are the most despised team to make the Superbowl since the Baltimore Ravens and their acquitted murderer/linebacker, Ray Lewis, won it all against the Big Blue 34-7 in 2001. As an enormous fan of the New York Jets (Just End the Season), I thought my passion for football died sometime around Columbus Day. But, my genuine loathing and utter contempt for all that is New England sports has created an air of excitement within me that I haven’t felt in athletics since Aaron Boone and the New York Yankees defeated the Boston Red Sox in 7 games to win the 2003 ALCS. There may be people in the world that will root for the Giants as passionately as I will come next Sunday evening. Nobody, and I emphasize nobody, will be rooting for the Giants with more vigor than I will be in eight days. If and when the Giants emerge victorious, it will be one of the most truly special moments the sports world has seen since those two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, Angela Ellen Keathley and Renee Thomas, were caught performing cunnilingus on each other in a bathroom stall at “Banana Joe’s” nightclub in Tampa, Florida.
· New England Patriots strong safety Rodney Harrison was quoted this week as saying, "It wasn't no secret. (The Giants) push, they hit late, they come at you and try to take you out. That's the way they play." Harrison's surreal rant is a classic case of a midget calling a munchkin short. Harrison, who is clearly an English major, is a known steroid abuser and he has twice been voted the NFL's dirtiest player by his peers. Harrison should heed the adage that "it's better to let people think you're an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt."
· The University of Hawaii's record-breaking quarterback and nearly a "sex offender with a record," Colt Brennan, 24, has severely struggled in practice while preparing for the Senior Bowl in Mobile, Alabama. Brennan's inadequate arm strength and atrocious throwing form will prohibit him from making any impact whatsoever on the next level and if I were a general manager I would avoid selecting him in April's draft like I'd steer clear of making contact with one of Heidi Fleiss' dirty thongs.
· Legendary chess player Bobby Fisher died at the age of 64 in Iceland last Thursday after a lengthy battle with kidney failure. Fisher transcended the "sport" of chess and became a cultural icon when he defeated Soviet grandmaster Boris Spassky in the midst of the Cold War. Unfortunately, instead of being remembered as the prodigy and genius that he was, he will be remembered as a delusional psychotic whose brilliance ultimately led to his bitter demise. The sad part is not that Fisher, a Jew who is an anti-Semite, died. The sad part is that some people actually contend that chess is a sport. Chess is as much a sport as Rupaul is a woman and anyone who believes otherwise knows athletics like a Bin-Laden knows condoms.
· Baseballs all-time home-run king, Barry Lamar Bonds, 42, asked a federal judge to dismiss perjury charges against him on Wednesday saying that the indictment is "scattershot" and noted its "striking inartfulness." Bonds claims that investigators baffled him with their questions and that he was incapable of accurately responding to the inquiries because of his confusion. Asked during the deposition if his notorious personal trainer, Greg Anderson, 42, had ever provided him with steroids or any other performance enhancing drug Bonds replied, "No. Not at all." Where is possibly the potential for confusion from that exchange? It's not exactly like there was an attempt to split the atom during these proceedings and I don't think Barry Lamar has a 24th chromosome. As the saying goes, “My what tangled webs we weave when we choose to deceive.”
· A friend of 23 years, Gary Leonardo Moreland III, called me on the phone the other day swearing that he saw a fat guy with a "third ear coming out of (his) forehead" who was "pulling a tractor with (his teeth)." I asked Gary where he was and he said he was driving on I-10 E outside of Louisiana. Gary was frazzled. At a Jersey Shore jubilee back in the late-90's, somebody had slipped him liquid acid and he was positive that he was having a massive hallucination 10 complete years after the traumatic incident. I asked Gary to repeat what he saw and when he did it dawned on me that he wasn't loopier than Courtney Love. He was seeing the rotund disgrace of the "Lone Star State," Roger Clemens, en route to the congressional hearings on Capitol Hill in Washington. Gary, whose knowledge regarding sports is minimal, was flabbergasted that the porky-Texan would go all the way to our nations’ capital on foot. As I explained to Gary, Clemens is renowned for his work ethic. He should be waddling into “Capital City” just in time to commit perjury on February the 13th.
· Roy Jones Jr. (52-4), 39, outclassed Puerto Rican folk hero Felix Trinidad (42-3), 35, last Saturday night en route to winning a unanimous decision. For what I sarcastically labeled Golden Girls with Gloves, the fight was not the Del Boca Vista debacle that I predicted. Jones floored Trinidad in the seventh and tenth rounds and in the end he was simply the bigger and better man in the ring. Kudos to Jones, who suffered consecutive brutal knockout losses in 2004, for maintaing the belief in himself to diligently train and win a marquee match in “the World’s Most Famous Arena.” Now, it’s time to call it a career, Junior.
· As always, thanks for giving me a reason to write.
· The indomitable New England Patriots (18-0) will play the upstart New York Giants (13-6) next week in Superbowl XLII at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. The Patriots, who will justifiably enter the game as 14-point favorites, are the most despised team to make the Superbowl since the Baltimore Ravens and their acquitted murderer/linebacker, Ray Lewis, won it all against the Big Blue 34-7 in 2001. As an enormous fan of the New York Jets (Just End the Season), I thought my passion for football died sometime around Columbus Day. But, my genuine loathing and utter contempt for all that is New England sports has created an air of excitement within me that I haven’t felt in athletics since Aaron Boone and the New York Yankees defeated the Boston Red Sox in 7 games to win the 2003 ALCS. There may be people in the world that will root for the Giants as passionately as I will come next Sunday evening. Nobody, and I emphasize nobody, will be rooting for the Giants with more vigor than I will be in eight days. If and when the Giants emerge victorious, it will be one of the most truly special moments the sports world has seen since those two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, Angela Ellen Keathley and Renee Thomas, were caught performing cunnilingus on each other in a bathroom stall at “Banana Joe’s” nightclub in Tampa, Florida.
· New England Patriots strong safety Rodney Harrison was quoted this week as saying, "It wasn't no secret. (The Giants) push, they hit late, they come at you and try to take you out. That's the way they play." Harrison's surreal rant is a classic case of a midget calling a munchkin short. Harrison, who is clearly an English major, is a known steroid abuser and he has twice been voted the NFL's dirtiest player by his peers. Harrison should heed the adage that "it's better to let people think you're an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt."
· The University of Hawaii's record-breaking quarterback and nearly a "sex offender with a record," Colt Brennan, 24, has severely struggled in practice while preparing for the Senior Bowl in Mobile, Alabama. Brennan's inadequate arm strength and atrocious throwing form will prohibit him from making any impact whatsoever on the next level and if I were a general manager I would avoid selecting him in April's draft like I'd steer clear of making contact with one of Heidi Fleiss' dirty thongs.
· Legendary chess player Bobby Fisher died at the age of 64 in Iceland last Thursday after a lengthy battle with kidney failure. Fisher transcended the "sport" of chess and became a cultural icon when he defeated Soviet grandmaster Boris Spassky in the midst of the Cold War. Unfortunately, instead of being remembered as the prodigy and genius that he was, he will be remembered as a delusional psychotic whose brilliance ultimately led to his bitter demise. The sad part is not that Fisher, a Jew who is an anti-Semite, died. The sad part is that some people actually contend that chess is a sport. Chess is as much a sport as Rupaul is a woman and anyone who believes otherwise knows athletics like a Bin-Laden knows condoms.
· Baseballs all-time home-run king, Barry Lamar Bonds, 42, asked a federal judge to dismiss perjury charges against him on Wednesday saying that the indictment is "scattershot" and noted its "striking inartfulness." Bonds claims that investigators baffled him with their questions and that he was incapable of accurately responding to the inquiries because of his confusion. Asked during the deposition if his notorious personal trainer, Greg Anderson, 42, had ever provided him with steroids or any other performance enhancing drug Bonds replied, "No. Not at all." Where is possibly the potential for confusion from that exchange? It's not exactly like there was an attempt to split the atom during these proceedings and I don't think Barry Lamar has a 24th chromosome. As the saying goes, “My what tangled webs we weave when we choose to deceive.”
· A friend of 23 years, Gary Leonardo Moreland III, called me on the phone the other day swearing that he saw a fat guy with a "third ear coming out of (his) forehead" who was "pulling a tractor with (his teeth)." I asked Gary where he was and he said he was driving on I-10 E outside of Louisiana. Gary was frazzled. At a Jersey Shore jubilee back in the late-90's, somebody had slipped him liquid acid and he was positive that he was having a massive hallucination 10 complete years after the traumatic incident. I asked Gary to repeat what he saw and when he did it dawned on me that he wasn't loopier than Courtney Love. He was seeing the rotund disgrace of the "Lone Star State," Roger Clemens, en route to the congressional hearings on Capitol Hill in Washington. Gary, whose knowledge regarding sports is minimal, was flabbergasted that the porky-Texan would go all the way to our nations’ capital on foot. As I explained to Gary, Clemens is renowned for his work ethic. He should be waddling into “Capital City” just in time to commit perjury on February the 13th.
· Roy Jones Jr. (52-4), 39, outclassed Puerto Rican folk hero Felix Trinidad (42-3), 35, last Saturday night en route to winning a unanimous decision. For what I sarcastically labeled Golden Girls with Gloves, the fight was not the Del Boca Vista debacle that I predicted. Jones floored Trinidad in the seventh and tenth rounds and in the end he was simply the bigger and better man in the ring. Kudos to Jones, who suffered consecutive brutal knockout losses in 2004, for maintaing the belief in himself to diligently train and win a marquee match in “the World’s Most Famous Arena.” Now, it’s time to call it a career, Junior.
· As always, thanks for giving me a reason to write.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
In the Web
• I thank you for taking the time to provide me with some of your time. Welcome to another edition of “In the Web.”
• Tom Brady's record-setting performance Saturday night in Foxboro (26-28, 262 yards) helped propel the New England Patriots to a hard-fought victory over the upstart Jacksonville Jaguars 31-20. My respect and admiration for Brady as a player and as a man is unparallel. Brady, who broke Phil Simms record for accuracy in a single-game by completing 92% of his passes, is a consummate professional and one of the classiest individuals in all of sports.
Nevertheless, in this timeframe of congressional hearings and witch hunts and in the honor of journalistic credibility, I find pertinence in noting that New England's "Golden Boy" was linked, albeit thinly, to the BALCO investigation. According to phone records seized by the federal government, Brady twice contacted Barry Bonds' nefarious trainer,
Greg Anderson, 42, in 2002 to inquire about his "services." The meeting between "Giselle's Girl" and the Bay Area's most notorious pusher of synthetic testosterone allegedly never materialized. Still, if you look at the matter objectively, the whole situation reeks of potential scandal. Brady may not have actually met with Anderson. However, the question remains, why seek-out Anderson in the first place? I am entirely cognizant that I am jaded and steep in cynicism. But, I refuse to believe that Brady, who
has gained 35 lbs. since his rookie season in 2000, innocently and naively stumbled upon Anderson without knowing his rogue background. Are we to believe that Brady conveniently called Anderson, of all people, to devise a plan to better strengthen his calves?
Naysayers and critics will grill me for this entry and claim that I am a
yellow journalist who is muckraking in an attempt to write a lurid story. That is simply not the case. I am making mention of a fact that many people, particularly New Englanders, like to curiously dismiss as baseless. Unfortunately, despite being built like the cartoon character "Shaggy," I believe that Brady, like Mary J. Blige and 50 Cent, could be yet another piece of the infamous "Steroid Era."
• There is little doubt in my mind that I just chapped a number of my readers' asses with my above rant. To pacify the irritation, I wrote the below blurb about New England's iconic signal-caller last week.
"New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 30, deservingly seized his first league MVP Tuesday in a landslide vote reminiscent of Reagan-Mondale circa 1984. Brady, who threw 50 touchdowns in comparison to a measly 8 interceptions this year, is the greatest quarterback to ever step on the gridiron."
• The New York Giants nudged the Dallas Cowboys 21-17 Sunday evening in Texas Stadium to advance to the NFC Championship game. In a postgame interview, Cowboy wide receiver and living hemorrhoid, Terrell Owens, 34, got emotional while defending his teams' embattled quarterback, Tony Romo. Romo, who received much flak in the week leading-up to the game for cavorting with his buxom girlfriend in Mexico, went a pedestrian 18-36 for 201 yards in the loss. Owens, an incredibly unsympathetic and unlikeable figure, wept like he had just finished watching "Beaches" and for what? Why waste one tear on Romo? Romo, who signed a six-year, $67.5 extension with Dallas in October, sips pina coladas on a tropical island and he fornicates with Jessica “Double-D" Simpson. If Owens wants to cry for someone, he should cry for a poor working sap like me. Seriously, if he wants a good cry, he should call me. My life story will have him weeping in horror and dismay in comparison.
• Over the course of the year, I have been extremely critical of Giants quarterback Eli Manning, 27. My criticism reached feverish levels in November when I began urging the "Big Blue" to insert "the Pillsbury Throwboy," Jared Lorenzen, 26, into the starting slot behind the center. Well, if Manning's performance over the past three weeks is any
indication, I was wrong in my analysis. Although it may seem like he's been around since the Lincoln administration, Manning is still precocious and it is feasible that he's just now coming into his own under the glare of Gotham's spotlight. If that's the case, and I'm still not sure that it is, good for Eli. It's always nice to see someone persevere in the face of adversity.
• Perhaps because of Manning's southern drawl and his painfully slow demeanor, I still am not convinced that he's the sharpest of samurai swords. With an estimated high temperature of 2 degrees by kickoff in Green Bay on Sunday, I am hoping that Manning decides to wear one of those "village idiot" hats with the fur ear flaps under his
helmet against the Packers. Now, that would be classic and it would make it hard to root against the team from Jets Stadium in New Jersey.
• The Indianapolis Colts surrendered to the San Diego Chargers 28-24 Sunday afternoon in the RCA Dome to ruin the defense of their Super Bowl title. The Chargers managed to win despite losing their starting quarterback, Phillip Rivers, 26, and running back, Ladanian Tomlinson, 28, to injuries during the course of the game. Rivers, an
obnoxious loudmouth who spent most of the day yammering with fans in the crowd from the "Hoosier State," managed to hurt himself while completing a pass to Darren Sproles for a touchdown. I have three quick thoughts and observations about Rivers. For one, he's a jackass and he's in dire need of a muzzle. Secondly, the man's not agile on his feet. How in the name of a higher being did he manage to sprain his medial collateral ligament without being hit or running? His nimbleness makes "Elaine" from "Seinfeld" look like she should be on "Dancing with the Stars." Finally, Rivers is not a classy human being. He really should walk arm-in-arm with Britney Spears into a highway restroom shoeless. Ah, red-neck love.....A match made in trash.
• The hapless New York Knicks (12-26) beat the dominant Detroit Pistons (29-10) 89-65 at Madison Square Garden Sunday. Uh, how did that happen? That's like Nell Carter dusting Carl Lewis in a race.
• Roy Jones Jr. (51-4), 39, will fight Felix Trinidad (42-2), 35,
in a match that is only a decade-late Saturday night at Madison Square Garden in New York City. This contest should be billed "Golden Girls with Gloves." At one point, these two were at the top of their profession. Now, they are leaching money out of fans pockets. Jones should hang up his gloves and instead focus on his burgeoning career as
a rap artist. Actually, with lyrics like "I got disqualified in March of '97 after givin' a whipping to Montell Griffin," maybe he should exit the music industry as well as the sport of boxing before he becomes a national punch-line.
• Kudos to Xavier University in Cincinnati for turning down rivals.com’s mid-major player of the week award on Friday that was intended for their point guard, Drew Lavender.
"People who come here and see us and what we're about and know what we've accomplished in 25 years would struggle to put any 'mid' label on us," Xavier athletic director Mike Bobinski said. "We've been to 17 NCAA Tournaments. We've had 20 20-plus win seasons. Our arena has been filled to 96 percent capacity. We've had 11 BCS conference home-and-homes in the last six years. That's not 'mid' anything."
Agree with the decision made by the Musketeers athletic department or not, they live by a code and that is something that demands respect. Somewhere out there, “the Wire’s” Omar Little is smiling.
• The Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman was quoted as saying that the only way young golfers could stop Tiger Woods would be to “Lynch him in a back alley.” Mistake or no mistake, all I can say is, “Wow! Is Tilghman the great-granddaughter of Nathan Bedford Forrest or what?” Perhaps Ms. Tilghman should be put to work behind the scenes instead of being one of the faces of this channel.
• As always, thank you. I hope I entertained.
• Tom Brady's record-setting performance Saturday night in Foxboro (26-28, 262 yards) helped propel the New England Patriots to a hard-fought victory over the upstart Jacksonville Jaguars 31-20. My respect and admiration for Brady as a player and as a man is unparallel. Brady, who broke Phil Simms record for accuracy in a single-game by completing 92% of his passes, is a consummate professional and one of the classiest individuals in all of sports.
Nevertheless, in this timeframe of congressional hearings and witch hunts and in the honor of journalistic credibility, I find pertinence in noting that New England's "Golden Boy" was linked, albeit thinly, to the BALCO investigation. According to phone records seized by the federal government, Brady twice contacted Barry Bonds' nefarious trainer,
Greg Anderson, 42, in 2002 to inquire about his "services." The meeting between "Giselle's Girl" and the Bay Area's most notorious pusher of synthetic testosterone allegedly never materialized. Still, if you look at the matter objectively, the whole situation reeks of potential scandal. Brady may not have actually met with Anderson. However, the question remains, why seek-out Anderson in the first place? I am entirely cognizant that I am jaded and steep in cynicism. But, I refuse to believe that Brady, who
has gained 35 lbs. since his rookie season in 2000, innocently and naively stumbled upon Anderson without knowing his rogue background. Are we to believe that Brady conveniently called Anderson, of all people, to devise a plan to better strengthen his calves?
Naysayers and critics will grill me for this entry and claim that I am a
yellow journalist who is muckraking in an attempt to write a lurid story. That is simply not the case. I am making mention of a fact that many people, particularly New Englanders, like to curiously dismiss as baseless. Unfortunately, despite being built like the cartoon character "Shaggy," I believe that Brady, like Mary J. Blige and 50 Cent, could be yet another piece of the infamous "Steroid Era."
• There is little doubt in my mind that I just chapped a number of my readers' asses with my above rant. To pacify the irritation, I wrote the below blurb about New England's iconic signal-caller last week.
"New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 30, deservingly seized his first league MVP Tuesday in a landslide vote reminiscent of Reagan-Mondale circa 1984. Brady, who threw 50 touchdowns in comparison to a measly 8 interceptions this year, is the greatest quarterback to ever step on the gridiron."
• The New York Giants nudged the Dallas Cowboys 21-17 Sunday evening in Texas Stadium to advance to the NFC Championship game. In a postgame interview, Cowboy wide receiver and living hemorrhoid, Terrell Owens, 34, got emotional while defending his teams' embattled quarterback, Tony Romo. Romo, who received much flak in the week leading-up to the game for cavorting with his buxom girlfriend in Mexico, went a pedestrian 18-36 for 201 yards in the loss. Owens, an incredibly unsympathetic and unlikeable figure, wept like he had just finished watching "Beaches" and for what? Why waste one tear on Romo? Romo, who signed a six-year, $67.5 extension with Dallas in October, sips pina coladas on a tropical island and he fornicates with Jessica “Double-D" Simpson. If Owens wants to cry for someone, he should cry for a poor working sap like me. Seriously, if he wants a good cry, he should call me. My life story will have him weeping in horror and dismay in comparison.
• Over the course of the year, I have been extremely critical of Giants quarterback Eli Manning, 27. My criticism reached feverish levels in November when I began urging the "Big Blue" to insert "the Pillsbury Throwboy," Jared Lorenzen, 26, into the starting slot behind the center. Well, if Manning's performance over the past three weeks is any
indication, I was wrong in my analysis. Although it may seem like he's been around since the Lincoln administration, Manning is still precocious and it is feasible that he's just now coming into his own under the glare of Gotham's spotlight. If that's the case, and I'm still not sure that it is, good for Eli. It's always nice to see someone persevere in the face of adversity.
• Perhaps because of Manning's southern drawl and his painfully slow demeanor, I still am not convinced that he's the sharpest of samurai swords. With an estimated high temperature of 2 degrees by kickoff in Green Bay on Sunday, I am hoping that Manning decides to wear one of those "village idiot" hats with the fur ear flaps under his
helmet against the Packers. Now, that would be classic and it would make it hard to root against the team from Jets Stadium in New Jersey.
• The Indianapolis Colts surrendered to the San Diego Chargers 28-24 Sunday afternoon in the RCA Dome to ruin the defense of their Super Bowl title. The Chargers managed to win despite losing their starting quarterback, Phillip Rivers, 26, and running back, Ladanian Tomlinson, 28, to injuries during the course of the game. Rivers, an
obnoxious loudmouth who spent most of the day yammering with fans in the crowd from the "Hoosier State," managed to hurt himself while completing a pass to Darren Sproles for a touchdown. I have three quick thoughts and observations about Rivers. For one, he's a jackass and he's in dire need of a muzzle. Secondly, the man's not agile on his feet. How in the name of a higher being did he manage to sprain his medial collateral ligament without being hit or running? His nimbleness makes "Elaine" from "Seinfeld" look like she should be on "Dancing with the Stars." Finally, Rivers is not a classy human being. He really should walk arm-in-arm with Britney Spears into a highway restroom shoeless. Ah, red-neck love.....A match made in trash.
• The hapless New York Knicks (12-26) beat the dominant Detroit Pistons (29-10) 89-65 at Madison Square Garden Sunday. Uh, how did that happen? That's like Nell Carter dusting Carl Lewis in a race.
• Roy Jones Jr. (51-4), 39, will fight Felix Trinidad (42-2), 35,
in a match that is only a decade-late Saturday night at Madison Square Garden in New York City. This contest should be billed "Golden Girls with Gloves." At one point, these two were at the top of their profession. Now, they are leaching money out of fans pockets. Jones should hang up his gloves and instead focus on his burgeoning career as
a rap artist. Actually, with lyrics like "I got disqualified in March of '97 after givin' a whipping to Montell Griffin," maybe he should exit the music industry as well as the sport of boxing before he becomes a national punch-line.
• Kudos to Xavier University in Cincinnati for turning down rivals.com’s mid-major player of the week award on Friday that was intended for their point guard, Drew Lavender.
"People who come here and see us and what we're about and know what we've accomplished in 25 years would struggle to put any 'mid' label on us," Xavier athletic director Mike Bobinski said. "We've been to 17 NCAA Tournaments. We've had 20 20-plus win seasons. Our arena has been filled to 96 percent capacity. We've had 11 BCS conference home-and-homes in the last six years. That's not 'mid' anything."
Agree with the decision made by the Musketeers athletic department or not, they live by a code and that is something that demands respect. Somewhere out there, “the Wire’s” Omar Little is smiling.
• The Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman was quoted as saying that the only way young golfers could stop Tiger Woods would be to “Lynch him in a back alley.” Mistake or no mistake, all I can say is, “Wow! Is Tilghman the great-granddaughter of Nathan Bedford Forrest or what?” Perhaps Ms. Tilghman should be put to work behind the scenes instead of being one of the faces of this channel.
• As always, thank you. I hope I entertained.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
In the Web
• Welcome to another edition of “In the Web.” I hope I entertain you with my rapid take on the week that was in the world of sports.
• CBS ratings soared Sunday night when broadcast icon Mike Wallace had his much-anticipated interview with the embattled Roger Clemens air on "60 Minutes." Wallace's well-conducted interview provided the viewing public with three undeniable truths. For one, "the Rocket" is more delusional than former Harvard professor and acid-head Timothy Leary and the fat-Texan was never even linked to LSD in the Mitchell report. Secondly, Wallace, who turns 90 in June, is a far greater legend in his field than the artificial Clemens, 45, ever was on the diamond. Finally, if Clemens does eventually get elected into baseball's Hall of Fame, Barry Lamar Bonds, 43, had better be enshrined as well. If Clemens does ultimately make Cooperstown and Bonds doesn't, then America as a whole is as racist as many proclaim.
• The following quote is from Roger Clemens’ lawyer, Rusty Hardin, after excerpts of his clients “60 Minutes” interview were released Thursday.
“Roger took bunches of shots over his career, much the way racehorses do, unfortunately.”
I won’t mention horses in this blog until we near the Kentucky Derby in the first week of May. Nevertheless, in light of Clemens’ horrifying abrasiveness and the way he sleazily recorded a phone conversation he had with his former trainer, Brian McNamee, I do wish that he was beaten like a government mule.
• The Washington Redskins iconic Head Coach and President, Joe Gibbs, 67, resigned yesterday after sixteen years leading the team from our nation's capital. Gibbs, who captured three Super Bowl championships as a coach with three different quarterbacks, is one of the classiest and most gracious individuals to ever roam an NFL sideline. In essence, as a man, he is everything that the cheating philanderer from New England, Bill Belichick is not.
• New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 30, deservingly seized his first league MVP TUESDAY in a landslide vote reminiscent of Reagan-Mondale circa 1984. Brady, who threw 50 touchdowns in comparison to a measly 8 interceptions this year, is the greatest quarterback to ever step on the gridiron. That fact regarding Brady’s all-time status got muddled amidst the numerous other story's surrounding the Patriots (16-0*) season for the ages.
• Every time I watch the Indiana Hoosiers (13-1, 2-0) and their sensational freshman shooting guard Eric Gordon play, I become more and more positive that nobody will want to play them in March.
• Anybody who discounts the success that the Boston Celtics (29-3) have enjoyed thus far because of the lack of quality competition that they've faced knows nothing about the sport of basketball. The Celts are an extremely talented squad and their detractors may be in denial all the way to a 17th championship parade.
• I genuinely would like to root for the Celtics and their duo of class acts, Kevin Garnett, 31, and Ray Allen, 32. However, in lieu of the Red Sox triumph and the Patriots dominance, I can't muster the emotion to root for the fabled franchise from Boston. I mean, it's like rooting for Tommy Lee to add more inches of girth to his nether region.
• If it wasn't for last week's captivating World Hockey Classic played outdoors in the snow between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Buffalo Sabers, I wouldn't even know that the sport of hockey still existed. It's kind of akin to how I wouldn't know Kim Kardashian, 27, was in existence if she didn't film herself getting a "golden shower" and doing the horizontal poker with Brandy's brother, Ray J.
• As always, thanks for giving me some of your time. I would have no reason to write if I didn’t have someone to read my work. Thanks again!
• CBS ratings soared Sunday night when broadcast icon Mike Wallace had his much-anticipated interview with the embattled Roger Clemens air on "60 Minutes." Wallace's well-conducted interview provided the viewing public with three undeniable truths. For one, "the Rocket" is more delusional than former Harvard professor and acid-head Timothy Leary and the fat-Texan was never even linked to LSD in the Mitchell report. Secondly, Wallace, who turns 90 in June, is a far greater legend in his field than the artificial Clemens, 45, ever was on the diamond. Finally, if Clemens does eventually get elected into baseball's Hall of Fame, Barry Lamar Bonds, 43, had better be enshrined as well. If Clemens does ultimately make Cooperstown and Bonds doesn't, then America as a whole is as racist as many proclaim.
• The following quote is from Roger Clemens’ lawyer, Rusty Hardin, after excerpts of his clients “60 Minutes” interview were released Thursday.
“Roger took bunches of shots over his career, much the way racehorses do, unfortunately.”
I won’t mention horses in this blog until we near the Kentucky Derby in the first week of May. Nevertheless, in light of Clemens’ horrifying abrasiveness and the way he sleazily recorded a phone conversation he had with his former trainer, Brian McNamee, I do wish that he was beaten like a government mule.
• The Washington Redskins iconic Head Coach and President, Joe Gibbs, 67, resigned yesterday after sixteen years leading the team from our nation's capital. Gibbs, who captured three Super Bowl championships as a coach with three different quarterbacks, is one of the classiest and most gracious individuals to ever roam an NFL sideline. In essence, as a man, he is everything that the cheating philanderer from New England, Bill Belichick is not.
• New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 30, deservingly seized his first league MVP TUESDAY in a landslide vote reminiscent of Reagan-Mondale circa 1984. Brady, who threw 50 touchdowns in comparison to a measly 8 interceptions this year, is the greatest quarterback to ever step on the gridiron. That fact regarding Brady’s all-time status got muddled amidst the numerous other story's surrounding the Patriots (16-0*) season for the ages.
• Every time I watch the Indiana Hoosiers (13-1, 2-0) and their sensational freshman shooting guard Eric Gordon play, I become more and more positive that nobody will want to play them in March.
• Anybody who discounts the success that the Boston Celtics (29-3) have enjoyed thus far because of the lack of quality competition that they've faced knows nothing about the sport of basketball. The Celts are an extremely talented squad and their detractors may be in denial all the way to a 17th championship parade.
• I genuinely would like to root for the Celtics and their duo of class acts, Kevin Garnett, 31, and Ray Allen, 32. However, in lieu of the Red Sox triumph and the Patriots dominance, I can't muster the emotion to root for the fabled franchise from Boston. I mean, it's like rooting for Tommy Lee to add more inches of girth to his nether region.
• If it wasn't for last week's captivating World Hockey Classic played outdoors in the snow between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Buffalo Sabers, I wouldn't even know that the sport of hockey still existed. It's kind of akin to how I wouldn't know Kim Kardashian, 27, was in existence if she didn't film herself getting a "golden shower" and doing the horizontal poker with Brandy's brother, Ray J.
• As always, thanks for giving me some of your time. I would have no reason to write if I didn’t have someone to read my work. Thanks again!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
In the Web
• The holidays are old news and I thankfully welcome you to a new edition of "In the Web."
• The New England Patriots defeated the New York Giants (10-6) at Jets Stadium in New Jersey Saturday 38-35 to become the first team in the annals of the NFL to complete a perfect 16-0 regular-season. The Patriots deserve a wealth of credit for their unprecedented excellence and the amazing focus and perseverance that they were able to display on a weekly basis since day one. Now all the Patriots need to do is win three more games and capture the Vince Lombardi trophy. If they don't accomplish that, they will be considered the most notorious collection of choke artists since the 2004 Yankees.
• The New York Jets (4-12) beat the Kansas City Chiefs (4-12) 13-10 Sunday in a meaningless game that ultimately cost them three slots in this coming years draft (the victory dropped them from the third selection in the first round to the sixth pick overall). You didn't have to be the late Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder to predict that the Jets would inexplicably and moronically win this game. Only "Gang Green" could suffocate the lone positive light from a dark and miserably disappointing 2007 campaign and lose a chance to select Arkansas star running back Darren McFadden, 20. As Steve Buscemi's character said in "Fargo," a Jet win "didn't make sense. It's like Peter stealing from Paul."
• Chuck Liddell (21-5) bruised and battered Wanderlei Silva (31-8-1), 31, Saturday night en route to a resounding unanimous decision victory. Liddell's victory put to a halt his personal losing streak at two and it knocked-out any lingering suspicion that he had been cursed since his cameo appearance on HBO's horrifically over-rated series, "Entourage." Liddell, 38, who is clearly the baddest thing since the NFL's juiced-up zebra, Ed Hochuli, now has his sights again set on avenging his consecutive losses to Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. Hopefully Liddell will nix that fight strategy and instead arrange a non-sanctioned "Mexican Street Fight" against the duo of "Turtle" and "Johnny Drama." Seeing those two gumps get throttled would be worth splurging for the exorbitant pay-per-view fees.
• Ring Magazine's 2007 "Fighter of the Year," Floyd Mayweather, Jr. (39-0), 30, publicly expressed his desire to enter the world of mixed martial arts with Mark Cuban's fledging company named HDNet Fights. Mayweather (30-0) is an enormous talent and his legacy as an all-time great pugilist is virtually cemented. Nevertheless, excelling in the "sweet science" is drastically different than flourishing in an octagon and if Mayweather enters this forum he won't be "pretty" much longer. Mayweather's entire attack is predicated off of his quickness and defensive guile. Such an attack plan would work briefly at best in this form of competition before he was grappled to the canvas and beaten mercilessly. The only thing that the "Pretty Boy" would gain by entering MMA is a collage of rug burns on his back that would rival those that the Spears girls accumulated this past year.
• In a driving snowstorm Tuesday, the Pittsburgh Penguins (21-16-2) defeated the Buffalo Sabres (19-16-3) 2-1 in the Winter Classic at Ralph Wilson Stadium in front of an NHL-record 72,217 fans. Only the second game ever played outdoors ended on Sidney Crosby's winning goal in a shootout. "Sid the Kid's" goal was one of the greatest moments for the sport of hockey since the premier of "Slapshot" and let's hope that contests played outside in the elements become a staple for the foreseeable future.
• The worst guard since former United States Army Reservist Lynndie England, Stephon Marbury, 30, returned to the New York Knicks lineup Wednesday night for the first time since his father passed last month. Now that Marbury is back and reunited with "Mr. Immunity," Isaiah Thomas, the Knicks should be officially good for 5 whole victories in the month of January.
• If you saw the video that Toronto Raptors power forward Chris Bosh, 23, released yesterday soliciting All-Star votes and you didn't find it humorous whatsoever, you likely have a vibrant personality akin to Victoria Beckham's. Life is too short. It's okay to let your hair down and be zany once in a while. Thankfully, Bosh understands that.
• Much to my surprise, the fractured New York Yankees weren't good enough to win a series nonetheless a championship last year. So, in some capacity, they need to be fixed. November and February are the big months on the MLB off-season calendar. November was nothing to write home to "the Boss" in Tampa about for the Bombers. The month of February had better be filled with great news for the men from the South Bronx or the season will end with misery just like it did last fall. Sometimes in life you need to squander items that you covet in order to attain even more desirable parts. Phil Hughes, 21, has a surplus of potential and he could be an ace in the American League for many years to come. John Santana, 28, is a left-hander and a two-time Cy Young Award winner in the prime of his career. The Yankees should have the Twins offices in Minnesota on speed dial.
• Thanks for providing me with your time. I hope I kept you entertained.
• The New England Patriots defeated the New York Giants (10-6) at Jets Stadium in New Jersey Saturday 38-35 to become the first team in the annals of the NFL to complete a perfect 16-0 regular-season. The Patriots deserve a wealth of credit for their unprecedented excellence and the amazing focus and perseverance that they were able to display on a weekly basis since day one. Now all the Patriots need to do is win three more games and capture the Vince Lombardi trophy. If they don't accomplish that, they will be considered the most notorious collection of choke artists since the 2004 Yankees.
• The New York Jets (4-12) beat the Kansas City Chiefs (4-12) 13-10 Sunday in a meaningless game that ultimately cost them three slots in this coming years draft (the victory dropped them from the third selection in the first round to the sixth pick overall). You didn't have to be the late Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder to predict that the Jets would inexplicably and moronically win this game. Only "Gang Green" could suffocate the lone positive light from a dark and miserably disappointing 2007 campaign and lose a chance to select Arkansas star running back Darren McFadden, 20. As Steve Buscemi's character said in "Fargo," a Jet win "didn't make sense. It's like Peter stealing from Paul."
• Chuck Liddell (21-5) bruised and battered Wanderlei Silva (31-8-1), 31, Saturday night en route to a resounding unanimous decision victory. Liddell's victory put to a halt his personal losing streak at two and it knocked-out any lingering suspicion that he had been cursed since his cameo appearance on HBO's horrifically over-rated series, "Entourage." Liddell, 38, who is clearly the baddest thing since the NFL's juiced-up zebra, Ed Hochuli, now has his sights again set on avenging his consecutive losses to Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. Hopefully Liddell will nix that fight strategy and instead arrange a non-sanctioned "Mexican Street Fight" against the duo of "Turtle" and "Johnny Drama." Seeing those two gumps get throttled would be worth splurging for the exorbitant pay-per-view fees.
• Ring Magazine's 2007 "Fighter of the Year," Floyd Mayweather, Jr. (39-0), 30, publicly expressed his desire to enter the world of mixed martial arts with Mark Cuban's fledging company named HDNet Fights. Mayweather (30-0) is an enormous talent and his legacy as an all-time great pugilist is virtually cemented. Nevertheless, excelling in the "sweet science" is drastically different than flourishing in an octagon and if Mayweather enters this forum he won't be "pretty" much longer. Mayweather's entire attack is predicated off of his quickness and defensive guile. Such an attack plan would work briefly at best in this form of competition before he was grappled to the canvas and beaten mercilessly. The only thing that the "Pretty Boy" would gain by entering MMA is a collage of rug burns on his back that would rival those that the Spears girls accumulated this past year.
• In a driving snowstorm Tuesday, the Pittsburgh Penguins (21-16-2) defeated the Buffalo Sabres (19-16-3) 2-1 in the Winter Classic at Ralph Wilson Stadium in front of an NHL-record 72,217 fans. Only the second game ever played outdoors ended on Sidney Crosby's winning goal in a shootout. "Sid the Kid's" goal was one of the greatest moments for the sport of hockey since the premier of "Slapshot" and let's hope that contests played outside in the elements become a staple for the foreseeable future.
• The worst guard since former United States Army Reservist Lynndie England, Stephon Marbury, 30, returned to the New York Knicks lineup Wednesday night for the first time since his father passed last month. Now that Marbury is back and reunited with "Mr. Immunity," Isaiah Thomas, the Knicks should be officially good for 5 whole victories in the month of January.
• If you saw the video that Toronto Raptors power forward Chris Bosh, 23, released yesterday soliciting All-Star votes and you didn't find it humorous whatsoever, you likely have a vibrant personality akin to Victoria Beckham's. Life is too short. It's okay to let your hair down and be zany once in a while. Thankfully, Bosh understands that.
• Much to my surprise, the fractured New York Yankees weren't good enough to win a series nonetheless a championship last year. So, in some capacity, they need to be fixed. November and February are the big months on the MLB off-season calendar. November was nothing to write home to "the Boss" in Tampa about for the Bombers. The month of February had better be filled with great news for the men from the South Bronx or the season will end with misery just like it did last fall. Sometimes in life you need to squander items that you covet in order to attain even more desirable parts. Phil Hughes, 21, has a surplus of potential and he could be an ace in the American League for many years to come. John Santana, 28, is a left-hander and a two-time Cy Young Award winner in the prime of his career. The Yankees should have the Twins offices in Minnesota on speed dial.
• Thanks for providing me with your time. I hope I kept you entertained.